


see, I've already waited too long (and all my hope is gone)

by Leodine



Series: that au where will has powers and everyone is gay [1]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Siblings Will Byers & Eleven | Jane Hopper, Will Byers Has Powers, Will Byers-centric, all while having depression and coping with his feelings for mike, it's mostly revolving around will being forced to realize he has powers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:00:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22422223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leodine/pseuds/Leodine
Summary: The first time it happens, Will is in the new house, El and Mike in the room next to his, his mom downstairs, Jonathan somewhere out with Nancy.It’s kind of a lie. It is not technically the first time; there were signs leading up to it, but Will has never considered them as anything other than leftover trauma. It is, however, the first time Will almost thinks it’s something weird, because between being far away from Hawkins and El having lost her powers, they have fallen into a sense of false normalcy.
Relationships: Jonathan Byers & Joyce Byers & Will Byers & Eleven | Jane Hopper, Will Byers/Mike Wheeler, Will Byers/Original Male Character(s)
Series: that au where will has powers and everyone is gay [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1613599
Comments: 9
Kudos: 152





	see, I've already waited too long (and all my hope is gone)

**Author's Note:**

> Here I explored Will's point of view in an au where he has powers and has to eventually face them, while having troubles dealing with moving out and growing up. And loving Mike too.

The first time it happens, Will is in the new house, El and Mike in the room next to his, his mom downstairs, Jonathan somewhere out with Nancy.

It’s kind of a lie. It is not technically the first time; there were signs leading up to it, but Will has never considered them as anything other than leftover trauma. It is, however, the first time Will almost thinks it’s something weird, because between being far away from Hawkins and El having lost her powers, they have fallen into a sense of false normalcy.

It’s Thanksgiving, and Mike has held his promise to El, bringing Nancy with him, which Jonathan was grateful for. They spend time together, reminiscing the old times, talking about new memories. Mike is excited, he cannot stay still, happy to see his best friend and his girlfriend after some weeks apart.

Will tries to not dwell on his friend touching his now adoptive sister, so naturally that it hurts. He smiles through a painful squeeze of his heart because, really, he should be used to it. His feelings are not normal, not something he should act on. Besides, he is happy for El and Mike. He really is.

He should be.

After a while, he excuses himself. Jonathan and Nancy have already left, and El and Mike are being awfully close. They have the right to, Will reminds himself. He smiles tightly at his mom, who looks worried. Yet again, she never quite stopped being worried about him, and Will understands. But right now, he has to deal with it alone.

“Will, the movie isn’t over yet!” Mike says, his voice just a tad frustrated. Will turns around and sees his best friend looking at him, a frown he can’t quite make up on his face.

“I’m sorry, I need to lie down for a while.” He sends a pleading look to his mom, silently hoping she won’t ask anything. She nods, ever understanding. Will wishes he could be a better son for her. She shouldn’t have to be alone in this, but Will cannot be who she needs. He keeps being a disappointment and it hurts.

Mike does not seem satisfied with his answer, already getting out of his embrace with El and standing up. “Will-”

Will smiles, a bright lie he hopes Mike won’t see through. “Besides,” he stage-whispers, “don’t you want some time alone with El?” He winks, and it feels forced, wrong.

Mike buys it. He smiles back, murmurs a soft “Thank you.” It’s said earnestly, and Will’s heart soars a bit, for no reason.

As he leaves the living room, El’s eyes are on him. Will tries to pretend she doesn’t know.

Will lies down, staring at the ceiling. It’s off-white, still unfamiliar and he suddenly hates it. He wants to close his eyes, but he feels like he would open them to a cold place, one he knew too well and did not want to go back to ever again.

The movie is long over, Will guesses as he hears El and Mike talk in hushed tones, their voices sweet, sharing secrets.

Will doesn’t belong.

Their voices are sharper in the quiet of his room suddenly, like they were raised, but they still sound so soft Will thinks he’s dreaming.

“El, I missed you so much,” Mike says. His voice is loud, yet not, and so, so tender. Will’s heart squeezes painfully.

“I missed you too, Mike,” El’s words are charged with an emotion Will rarely hears from her, one that is reserved for Mike. He tries not to be jealous and fails.

“I’m so glad you’re here, I…”

“I love you,” El says. It’s so simple and so brave. Will cannot imagine those words coming out of his mouth one day.

Mike does not answer. Not in a way Will expected; they are kissing, Will knows, as if he were in the room with them. He closes his eyes, chasing away that vision, but it’s as if their image is printed on his retinas. He cannot get away.

Will sits down, nervously rubbing at his eyes. They’re wet, but he does not mind. The noises grow louder, the colors brighter behind his lids. He’s not okay, he realizes. There’s a flickering sound, something that takes his mind off those thoughts.

Someone is knocking on the door.

“Will?” It’s his mom.

Will raises his head, just to see the light flicker back on. He tucks that fact away in some corner of his mind, because it doesn’t matter.

“Will are you okay?” There it comes, the eternal question.

“Yes, mom,” he lies, wiping his face. He hopes his eyes aren’t red.

“The door,” his mom simply says, and Will stands up, crossing the few steps that separate his bed from where his mom is.

He opens the door.

His mom’s face is calmer than what he expected. She’s looking at him, a bit like she cannot exactly figure him out. He smiles.

“What’s up?” He simply says. Mike is in the hallway with El, they both seem concerned, although Will knows that El’s concern is entirely different from Mike’s. It feels overwhelming, something reaching out for him in the dark-

“Your door was locked, Will,” his mom finally says. It shouldn’t be that surprising, but Will remembers something. “I know you wanted to lie down, but El said there were noises coming from your room, I thought there was a malfunction and got worried,” she breathes in, “you weren’t answering and-”

“I’m fine mom,” Will laughs. “But El, you’re right,” he adds, wanting to at least get this out of her mind, “there was something, I think. I had my eyes closed, but I think the light was not working?” He thinks for a moment. “It was flickering, I think. Maybe something is up with my lightbulb.”

His mom huffs. “We just changed it!” She seems relieved, however, and Will is grateful. El is scrutinizing him, and he knows he cannot always get away from her. Mike is also staring.

“Well, I’ll see if it gets worse. It seems to be working right now.” Will looks back to his room and closes the door. “So, what do you guys want to do?” It’s still early.

Mike lights up, and El is smiling softly. His best friend starts to babble about a D&D campaign he imagined, based on the one Will had made last summer, and asks Will if he wants to be the dungeon master with him.

“Two dungeon masters?” Will repeats.

“We’re trying to get this big campaign running, and the girls would be there too! Dustin wants to invite Steve and his new friend, Robin. It would be huge, and I want to run that with you. Is that okay?” Mike looks self-conscious.

Will smiles, and it’s genuine this time. “More than okay. I’d love to.”

El looks at him, takes his hand. They all settle down on the couch in the living room. Will allows himself to not think about being normal for once.

But he knows.

His door doesn’t lock.

Will makes new friends.

He wasn’t necessarily expecting it, but it still happens. El and him arrive at this new school – high school, really – and he feels like they should be outcasts again.

But people are nicer – or Will’s skin might be thicker.

They’re not popular, still categorized as weirdos and nerds and people no one should hang out with, but there are others like them. Not exactly like them, because Will is fairly sure no one in their new school has ever had psychic powers or been to another dimension or even, possessed by a monster keen on destroying everyone.

Will shivers.

He’s weird here, but a regular kind of weird, the way a quiet kid and his quieter sister can be. It is, strangely enough, good enough for him.

He knows El is still figuring out friends, because she thought what she had was enough, but along the weeks she realized how much bigger than Hawkins the world really was, and she is trying, hard, to be fine with it.

What surprised him, however, is that he was the same. He never really had to make new friends, and being in that new school makes him realize that his world might have been just as small as El’s, revolving around the same group of friends, the same places to hang out at.

He assured Mike he would not find another party, and he had meant it, but after some weeks, he decides that he is in fact, going to make new friends. No matter how much it scares him. They would never replace his friends from Hawkins.

There’s this guy, in his English class, who seems easy enough to talk to. Will strangely wants to befriend him but does not really know how to break the ice. It takes him a couple of days before he finally decides to take a step towards him, before first period.

“Hey,” he says, voice a bit soft. El is standing not too far from him, and he can feel her inquisitive stare on him.

The boy, not so much taller than him – Will is in the midst of a growth spurt and it seems he isn’t stopping anytime soon – turns around, eyes somewhat wide.

“Me?” he asks, pointing to himself, and Will nods, his bravery deflating quickly. Maybe he still was not able to seem normal. But the boy smiles, and Will’s heart does a little flutter. “Hey,” he answers, and his face is friendly, soft and beautiful. Will blushes.

“I’m Will,” he continues. “I arrived here last October,” he pretends he does not know it’s already been almost a couple of months, “with my sister, Jane.” Jane is however, nowhere to be seen when he tries to present her to him.

“I’m Theo.” The boy studies him a little, looking thoughtful. “You’re in my English class, right?”

“Yes,” Will answers, bashfully. “I’ve… I mean, moving after the start of the year, it’s been…” He stops, not sure how to express himself, especially in front of a boy who might just be the kind of guy who wants to be friends with someone like him. “I don’t know, it’s been hard. Making the first move.”

“Oh, I get that,” Theo says. “Actually, I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while, but you’re always with your sister and she’s, uh, pretty intimidating.” Theo laughs a bit, as if privy to a joke Will doesn’t know. It makes his skin prickle, and he opens his mouth to say something, anything to ward off attempts at badmouthing his sister, but Theo beats him to it. “Don’t get me wrong, she’s pretty awesome, but I guess I’ve been putting off this interaction because I was scared of her.” Theo looks apologetic.

“You wanted to talk to me?” Will is surprised; he’s rather sure that he has never given off the aura of someone people want to talk to. He was always the freaky one, the fairy, zombie boy. Here, he is just Will, but the fear of being obviously different still follows him like a hungry beast.

“Yes, you look cool. Um,” Theo’s cheeks darken, and his eyes shift around. “Anyway, I’ll introduce you to my friends.”

“Okay,” Will says. He doesn’t know what to make of this yet, but there’s a gentle heat spreading in his chest. He smiles at Theo, and the boy smiles back.

Theo is nice, and his friends are too. They aren’t exactly popular, which reassures Will, but they’re not social outcasts either. They’re mostly there, some kids in theater, others well versed in art and others in music, whether it’s band or choir, the club Theo is in. Some of them are even in different groups at the same time. They are a huge merry band, too many people at once, but Theo _is_ nice, and Will trusts him.

After a while, El starts trusting him too.

They become part of the group easily enough, because they’re used to people coming and going. Heidi, Andrew and Natalie arrived just this year. There are people who have been friends since kindergarten, like Diane and Cassie, and others who’ve known each other since even before – like Theo and Eric. Eric is a bit like Will, or rather, how Will would like to be. He dresses in colorful clothes and owns it, often harboring paint stained jeans and shoes. He is cool.

Will likes them. It feels like they all understand what it feels like to be different, and they embrace it. They aren’t that obviously different; not the way Will and his friends were in Hawkins, but it’s familiar, and it feels good.

It feels good until it doesn’t.

It’s well in December, Christmas coming in close, and Will is waiting for El in the hallways. She has a longer day than him today, but he wants to make sure that they stay together. They are creating a routine, one that they will keep even after Jonathan has gone to college.

He hears someone cry out in pain.

Cold sweat runs down his back as he remembers Troy. But the voice cries out again and it’s familiar. It’s Theo.

Will runs towards the noise, hoping that El gets it and waits for him away from danger. He’s not that lucky, because when he arrives where the commotion is, El is there – why is she here? – looking fiercely at a group of bullies who are advancing on her and Theo, whom she is protecting. He is curled up on the ground, clutching his stomach.

“Look at this weak son of a bitch. People like you have no reason to be there,” One boy says, then spits on him. “Freak.”

Will finds his voice. “Hey!” He shouts. “Leave them alone.”

“Oh! Is that your boyfriend, Theo?” The bully says. His name probably sounds like Tom or Tim, Will doesn’t remember. He doesn’t want to.

“Leave him alone,” Will grounds out, feeling dangerous all the sudden. There is anger coursing through his veins, a sane, desired anger, one that he had never let himself feel before. He feels powerful, maybe, which doesn’t make sense. There are three people in front of him, bigger, meaner than he could ever wish to be. Theo is hurt, El overpowered, but she looks at him like she gets it. She gets him.

“Or what? You’re going to cry?” Their leader comes closer, fist ready. Will does not know how to fight, not physically at least.

He gets hit. He was able to dodge, which was good, but not good enough. The pain stings on his face and doubles his anger. “Leave him alone,” he repeats.

Above them, a buzzing sound drones, growing louder, larger. One of the bullies looks up. His face is a mask of confusion.

“Hey,” he says, “something’s wrong.”

“Shut up,” the leader says, “this sissy needs to be taught a lesson.”

Will is not the one who has to be taught something, he thinks. The noise is almost deafening now, and lights are getting brighter and dimmer at regular intervals. Like a heartbeat. Like his heartbeat, synchronized in a sick, twisted way. Theo looks up in awe. El’s eyes are fixed on Will.

“You think you can scare me? What are you even doing? Power posing? Do you think you’re a superhero or what?” The bully’s all talk now, and Will feels his fear. He doesn’t move, there is no need to.

One of the lights above them explodes, bringing down hot sparks with it. A shriek comes from the bullies. Another light. Another. The floor is littered with sparks, electricity zapping all over the place, plunging them in darkness then light intermittently. It’s a hazard; it could be, but Will doesn’t want it to hurt. It’s meant to scare.

“Leave him alone!” He repeats, his voice gaining strength while the bullies cower in a corner, away from the sparks. “Leave him, and our friends, and my sister alone.”

The three guys don’t even say a word; they run away, as fast as they can, and disappear down the hallway. The quiet that comes after is too loud. Theo stands up.

“Wow, what- what happened?” He stumbles against the wall.

El steadies him with a small smile. “Will protected us.”

“Yeah, I can see that. Real cool, by the way, Will. I can’t believe I was that right about you.”

“Right?” Will and El ask at the same time.

“Shit you guys… you’re actual twins you can’t lie to me.” Theo comes up to him, his smile warm and – but it can’t be – starstruck. No one has ever looked at Will like that. “You are cool. You were so cool there. But they got you good, I’m so sorry.”

“What do you mean?” Will asks. “I should be sorry, I didn’t know they were beating you up, I was right _there_ and-”

Theo gets out a tissue. “Here,” he says, but he wipes under Will’s nose gently. “You’re a superhero, you know that?”

Theo’s tissue comes out bloody. Will’s hand jerks to his face. “What?” He squeaks, baffled. He looks at El, who just shrugs. “This… this isn’t…”

“It’s fine,” El says, quietly. “Infirmary?” She asks Theo, who shakes his head.

“Nah, I’m okay. I’m going home, tomorrow’s the weekend you know. My parents will fuss over me, but it’s fine. I’ll tell them how you defended me.”

And then, without any warning, Theo kisses Will’s cheek, where he was hit, softly.

“Thank you,” he says. He then turns to El, hugs her. “Thank you. You guys are awesome.” Theo leaves school, and Will stands there, El next to him, his heart a rapid flutter in his chest. His cheek is hot to the touch.

The lights around them blink softly to the beat of his heart.

Will comes out to his family in winter, when everyone is reunited to celebrate Christmas. The atmosphere is tense, more so than usual. They are still healing, and Will had come home a few weeks before with a bruised cheek and a bleeding nose after all.

It’s not like there is still bullying. Will had defended Theo, with words. They leave him alone. But his mother is understandably scared for him.

There is also the elephant in the room, the fact that they cannot go back to Hawkins for the holidays. The Party had taken the news badly, but Will was somewhat relieved. He was still figuring out how to be a normal kind of weird in his new town and coming back to Hawkins was just too hard. El had been sad, but she also had bad memories tied to Hawkins – as many as the good ones – and preferred thinking of their friends coming here.

Will is preparing cookies with El in the kitchen. They’re having fun, Christmas tunes can be heard from the radio and he’s singing and teaching them to her at the same time. Soon they’re both singing, pretending to be at their very own concert, with Joyce and Jonathan as their enthusiastic audience.

Will feels happier than he has in a while and takes the quick decision to tell them the truth. It’s what he would have called impulsive some time ago, but he wants them to know. He’s euphoric, running on what might be too much sugar from the baking. He loves them.

He stops playing; El stops with him, her brown eyes staring with concern. “Are you okay?”

Will nods. “Yes.” He moves to the living room, El following after him. He takes a deep breath. “Mom, Jonathan, El, I- I need to tell you something.”

“What is it honey?” His mom asks. She was watching something on the TV with Jonathan. She’s sitting on the couch, her face looking up at him. Jonathan is also looking at him, encouragingly. It feels like they already know, because they’re motioning for Will and El to sit down too.

“I-” Will starts. He looks down at his feet, face heating up. Maybe that wasn’t the best idea he’d ever had. El takes his hand in hers, and she tries to make him look at her, but Will’s head stays stubbornly down.

He’s suddenly too aware of the song playing on the radio, of the noise coming from the TV. Of Joyce’s concerned stare and Jonathan’s equally worried stance. They’re already starting to stand up, to see what’s wrong with him. Will shuts his eyes to keep the information from coming in.

Only El anchors him. She’s calm. Will is almost sure she’s infusing him with soothing feelings, but El doesn’t have powers anymore.

He knows it looks bad from the outside, how his eyes are closed, pupils moving rapidly behind his lids, and how he seems inside another world.

“Will!” He hears his mom say, and she’s closing in, arms ready to take him into her safe embrace. El doesn’t let go of his hand.

Will opens his eyes.

Several things happen at once.

The TV abruptly turns off. There’s static on the radio and the familiar riffs of Should I Stay Or Should I Go start playing. Will sees his mom confused face, Jonathan is paling, rushing to turn off the radio. Joyce doesn’t seem to know whether to look at Will or at El, who is still holding on to his hand, a warm comfort. She calms herself down, visibly, pacing a few steps before smiling at Will.

“What did you want to tell us, honey?” She asks again, voice breaking just a little bit.

Jonathan comes back from the kitchen with a napkin and gives it to Will, who just looks at him. “Your nose,” his brother offers in guise of an explanation.

Will takes the napkin with his free hand, wipes his nose. The white tissue comes back red, and he turns his head to finally look at El. She’s just gently gazing at him, a small smile dancing on her lips as if telling him it’s okay.

“I… I like boys,” he blurts out. “The way I should like girls,” Will feels himself tearing up. “I’m so sorry.”

His mom is already taking him into her arms, bringing his head down to kiss his forehead. “Oh, sweetie, you don’t have to be sorry for anything.” She hugs him tight, her arms so familiar, and Will arms find her back, holding on. He’s crying, and he’s sure his mom is crying as well. “I’ll always love you. And you are,” she pauses, taking a step back to look right into his eyes, “so, so brave for telling us. I love you,” she says again, and hugs him more.

Will looks up tearfully to Jonathan, who still looks stunned but steps closer to him all the same. “I’m so glad you told us, Will. And I love you,” he says, his voice cracking. It makes Will smile; Jonathan comes to the hug too.

Will is happy, crying with an armful of his mom and his brother, when he notices El is still next to them, looking at him curiously. Will feels a sudden, irrational fear that she isn’t going to understand. But El tentatively walks closer and hugs him too.

“You’re my brother,” she says, and it’s the first time she’s said it out loud even if Will knows they’ve felt like siblings since before the move. “I love you,” she adds stubbornly.

“Thank you,” he mumbles into someone’s shoulder, “thank you so much. I love you too, all three of you.”

They stay like that for a while, but then Will complains about his arms cramping and everyone laughs. Joyce settles El and him down in front of the TV – that is miraculously working again – while she and Jonathan prepare the Christmas cookies they never finished.

No one mentions the weird incident and Will’s nose bleeding and for that he is grateful. They watch a movie together, and El and him fall asleep in front of the TV, curled up together. He’s okay.

The things that happen after New Year are… unexpected. The Party calls them, several times over Christmas break, and Will is able to share a few words with everyone. He feels better than last Thanksgiving, and maybe Theo’s kiss has something to do with it. He hasn’t really seen him since, not alone anyway.

Neither El nor Will talk about that little stunt. El does mention to Mike that Will has protected her and one of their friends against bullies, but not much more, because Mike latches onto the most non-significant detail.

“One of your friends?” His voice says, the phone carrying over his curiosity.

“Mike you’re not gonna start,” Max groans. The entire Party is on the phone right now, and it feels fine. It feels good.

“Yes,” El says, like it’s not important, and she is right, “Will defended us. He was _cool_.”

“Well done Byers!” Dustin cheers.

“I wish Will was protecting me from the bullshit back in Hawkins,” Lucas says. “But still, dude, that’s awesome! I wish I had seen that. Badass Will!”

“Thanks, guys! When we come back,” and right then Will feels like he means it, “I’ll show you my power stance.”

“A friend?” Mike is weirdly insistent, and it angers Will, if only for a moment.

“Is it that weird that El and I are making friends?” Will asks, his voice somehow too sharp.

“No, no, of course not,” Mike’s words are rushed out, somewhat shaky, “I just… For Thanksgiving, you guys didn’t…”

“We have friends now. They’re nice,” El says.

“I’m sure they’re not as cool as me,” Max jokes. Or not. She sounds pretty serious.

“They aren’t. Will is cooler than you though,” El continues.

Max laughs, a beautiful, carefree sound. Will wonders how long it has been since she last laughed like that; he might not be the only one. There is a stunned silence after that, one that is interrupted by Max’s annoyed _Stop looking at me like that_.

“I can bear to lose to Will, he’s alright.”

“Thank you, Max. I feel honored.”

“You should be.”

They all joke around a lot, and maybe Will’s a bit too quiet at moments, Mike quieter. It feels good to talk to them, better than before. Will feels like he is sliding back into his life, one phone call at a time.

Seeing Theo again, at school, does help. Will blushes immediately upon seeing him, and Theo’s face matches the heat on his cheeks.

“Hello, my savior,” Theo says, teasing. Cassie and Eric are behind him, and they mimic him. At that moment, they make Will think about Lucas and Max.

“Oh, my savior, how could I ever repay you?” Cassie whines.

“My love,” Eric says, “I protected you because I want you to be safe. At all times.” He closes the distance between them, theatrically and makes gross kissing noises.

“Guys!” Theo hisses, “stop.”

“Hey, you did not have to be that cheesy,” Eric hisses back. “We’re just going with the flow.”

Will stares at the interaction, dumbfounded. There is an underlying current of… something he cannot quite pinpoint. It’s oddly familiar, but it shouldn’t matter.

He and Theo become a thing soon after, and the novelty of it is enough for Will to forget about this weird feeling.

The odd things appearing around Will follow him everywhere, and it starts getting a little annoying. They’re not always showy, like what had happened with Theo and El against the bullies, but they’re unpredictable, and Will hates that it seems to always be related to his emotions.

One time, in mid-February, it’s particularly bad. Not in intensity, but rather in the timing. He’s sitting on his bed, Theo lounging next to him, looking at him with so much adoration it feels suffocating. Will is undeserving of that.

They’re talking about their friends; Theo does mention Eric a lot, and Will isn’t really friends with him. Eric doesn’t seem to like him either, not that he is mean to him. His loss, El says, but Will thinks something is amiss. Not a bad thing necessarily, but what he doesn’t know seems too important. He never mentions it, though. He doesn’t dare to.

“And you have, what, your sister’s boyfriend coming sometimes too?” Theo says, entirely conversational.

Will nods. “Yeah, Mike, my best friend.” He’s playing with Theo’s hand absently, tracing light lines on his skin, lacing their fingers.

“You like him, don’t you?” Theo says. It’s not a question, and Will’s hand stops moving.

“Uh,” he lets out, unsure of where they’re going with that. Theo is still looking at him with love – or what Will _thinks_ is love at least – but there is an edge to his words. “He’s dating my sister,” Will just says, hoping some disgust seeps through his stunned response. It isn’t enough. Theo frowns, but it disappears, and his soft expression is back in moments. It just looks hollower.

“Okay,” Theo answers quietly. “Can I try something?”

Will nods again, very thankful for the change of subject. Theo sits up. He’s looking straight into Will’s eyes, and maybe his expression lacks warmth, but he’s determined. Will likes that, a little. He doesn’t know if he likes the next thing that happens.

Theo leans in and kisses him. Will’s eyes stay open long enough to see lights blinking rapidly; he squeezes his eyes shut, willing it away. He gets into the kiss. It’s soft, chaste at first, then Theo deepens the kiss, putting his hand behind Will’s neck. It’s pleasant; there aren’t any fireworks, only a dull warmth spreading from his chest to the rest of his body. It feels good.

Will smiles into the kiss and tries to mimic Theo; he puts a hand on Theo’s cheek.

Theo jumps back, breaking the contact. Will licks his lips, missing the warmth already. He leans in for another kiss, but Theo keeps him back with a hand. He looks a bit surprised.

“Static electricity?” He asks, and Will has no idea what he’s talking about. “When you touched me, I felt a sting, like… like static electricity, only more painful.” He’s looking puzzled. “You didn’t feel it?”

Will looks down at his hands, flexing them. The lights are back to normal, but he is sure his desk lamp is turned on when it wasn’t before. “Yeah, I did, I just… I wanted to kiss you again?”

Theo smiles, and the warmth is back on his face. “Come here,” he whispers.

They resume to their kissing, no electricity related problem arising after that.

Theo doesn’t mention the odd things happening around Will, but after that day, it seems like all they do is kissing. No more real talk, no more one-on-one conversations. Will, for once, wonders if there really ever was something like that in their relationship.

When they break up, Will comes home, holding back tears he doesn’t have the right to shed. Theo is right about him. He was using him. He is using everyone. Using them to replace him. He is disgusting.

He wants to climb up the stairs, without looking at anyone, but El is there. She looks up at him, a question on her lips. He shakes his head. She raises her head, making him look up. Will bites back a groan. Sure enough, the lights are malfunctioning again. It tires Will.

“I’ll-” his voice break. El is quick on her feet, running to him and taking him into her arms. She’s warm, she feels safe. Will crumbles in her embrace.

“Am I a bad person?” He asks, his voice trembling.

“No,” El says stubbornly. Will waits a moment for her to elaborate, but she keeps him close and doesn’t say another word.

She leads him to the couch, where she had been reading a book. They settle down, El still holding him, holding onto him, the same way he does. He realizes she’s crying with him.

“I’m so sorry,” he says, not quite knowing what he is apologizing for. She doesn’t deserve any of this, of whatever he has been doing to her.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” she provides. Will nods against her.

“Still…”

“No,” El insists.

Will believes her, quiets down with her. He breathes in her scent; she smells like home, like their house, but also like El, who has a lot of clothes from Hopper, and from Max and from Mom, and who’s gotten new ones here. She smells like El, his sister, who likes to read comics with him and plays around with Jonathan’s old camera. She’s got pictures of everyone in her room. She smells like someone who knows him almost better than he knows himself, like kin, someone who has seen horrors in this world and had chosen to stay kind.

“Thank you, El,” he says, his words shaky. He holds her tighter. “I love you.”

El stiffens, then relaxes entirely. “I love you too.”

They fall asleep like that, to the sound of flickering lights and the buzz of the radio.

Joyce and Jonathan find them, later, in each other’s arms. They look peaceful, none of the previous turmoil visible. Jonathan snaps a picture of them, one that he showcases after they wake up. Will’s heart feels full, fuller than it has in a while.

But the fullness is not necessarily good, he finds.

He’s out in the backyard, watching the stars when Jonathan joins him.

“Buddy, you need to go to bed,” he tells him, voice soft.

“I know,” Will answers. He sounds bratty, probably, so he softens the blow. “Can I get a moment outside, please?”

Jonathan doesn’t say anything for a moment. Then, a shuffle, the sound of grass being moved, and his brother is sitting next to him. “You can, but I’m staying with you. If you’ll allow me.”

“Of course,” Will says. He wants Jonathan around, even though he has been drifting away for a while.

“Can I… Can I hug you, Will?” Jonathan asks.

Will looks at his brother, bewildered. “Why would you need to ask that?” But his brother’s eyes are on him, knowing. “Okay, of course you can.”

He’s in his brother arms now, and it feels good. The day had been tedious, even with El being there and Mom being, well, Mom. It’s nice to have his brother all to himself.

“What happened today?” Jonathan tries.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Will immediately says. His voice is a bit too sharp, too wounded. He does want to talk about it, but talking about it would mean admitting things he does not want to admit, especially in front of his brother.

“Okay. Okay, Will. But you do know you can talk to me. Any of us really. I’d like for you to talk to us.” There is no pressure in Jonathan’s voice. He’s telling it like he’s feeling it, and Will caves in.

“I… I was dating someone from school.”

Jonathan nods. He seems to already understand that the ending of the story is not good, so he just rubs circles on Will’s back.

“H-He was nice. He’s nice. He’s the first friend I made at school, actually.”

“Theo?” Jonathan says, and it’s not even a question, because of course Jonathan remembers Will’s friends.

“Yeah. I just… I was leading him on.”

“Who said that?” Jonathan’s voice is on the salvageable side of annoyed, so Will goes on, quietly.

“Well, Theo told me that. But others… others have talked to him about it.” Will thinks about Eric, who has always been nice to him, but could read him so well. It might be because they’re too alike. Lost in someone who can’t love them back.

“Will, how would they think that you were leading him on? It’s nuts.”

“Not really. I was… kind of. I don’t… I don’t love him like I should. I didn’t. I wanted to know what it felt like to be in a relationship, because everyone is in one…”

“Will-”

“And Theo’s like me, you know.” And Jonathan does, because Theo had clumsily come out to them a couple of months back. The Byers’ house felt like a haven to his friends, after all. Even in Hawkins, despite everything. “I felt like I could… try.”

“Try to be in a relationship?”

“Try to be like everyone else, but my way. Not… force myself to be with a girl I couldn’t like.” Will scoffs. “Turns out I just did the same, but with a boy.”

“Will, this isn’t… This isn’t a bad thing. It happens.”

“I did this knowingly,” Will hammers. “I knew I loved someone else.”

“Oh,” Jonathan says.

“I thought the feelings would go away, but they don’t, and it hurts.”

“Will,” Jonathan calls, his voice pained. “You can’t control feelings. I know it sucks, but… it’s just how it is.”

“I don’t want it to be that way!” Will doesn’t want to be that kind of person; the guy who dates others he doesn’t love because he’s too hung up on his stupid, straight friend, who is just too good to tell him off when he’s being gross, and gay.

“Will, stop.” Will does stop, looking at his brother. “I know you’re having a self-deprecating internal monologue-”

“Am not.”

“You are,” Jonathan says. “I tend to be like that sometimes. Feeling… disgusting for liking someone? It happens to me a lot.”

“You can be creepy,” Will offers.

“Shut up!” Jonathan counters, with no real heat. “Feelings are just that, feelings. You can choose to act on them or not, but having feelings does not mean you’re disgusting.”

Will tries to believe his brother, he really does. But Jonathan is straight, as far as he knows. Does he feel guilty for loving Nancy, who loves him back? No one is looking at them, waiting for them to slip, to be what everyone thinks of them, right? Will might be unfair, he probably is, but it hurts. He still nods.

“Anyway, you love someone else, it happens. You don’t-” Jonathan stops, looking frustrated yet ashamed, “you don’t have to be a saint at all times.”

“What?” Will says, disbelieving. “I’m not a _saint_!”

“Yeah, okay, you aren’t,” Jonathan concedes, slightly amused. “But you always want to please people. You can be selfish, you know.”

“So what, I should string people along and do whatever I want to?” Will snaps, bitterness seeping into his tone.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. You feel guilty for having normal emotions, for making mistakes… Will, you’re only 15. You’re human, you can… you can fuck up-”

“Jonathan,” Will says, his warning tone ruined by a small laugh.

“But you can, Will! You don’t have to be perfect all the time. You’re allowed to be angry, to feel love, to be jealous, to be sad. You don’t have to accommodate for everyone.”

“I never do that,” Will counters. They were talking about Theo breaking up with him, and now Jonathan is saying things Will doesn’t really want to hear.

Jonathan is looking at him with a fond exasperation.

“I do not,” Will repeats, but he feels less sure.

“Will,” Jonathan says patiently. “It’s a good thing to be nice. It’s amazing you’re such a nice kid. But we both know you can’t keep doing that to yourself.” Jonathan doesn’t elaborate what that is, but Will can guess easily. He doesn’t think Jonathan is wrong; he just doesn’t want him to be right.

At the end of their discussion, Will feels a little better, and thanks his brother with another hug, before going to bed.

It’s a wonder he went to his room without turning on a single lightbulb, with all the emotions he was still feeling.

He thinks about the reason why they broke up, Theo and him. It’s glaring at him, and he despises it. Is he going to feel that way forever? Stuck on someone who would never love him back, because they are straight and in love with his sister? Will can’t let that happen. He won’t.

It has come to a point where Will does not know where to stand. He misses Hawkins when he’s in his new home, but he just _knows_ he would miss home when he is in Hawkins. It’s bittersweet, and he wonders if it’s what growing up feels like.

He feels stuck in between, like when he was staring at his mom from the other side of the wall and calling for her, or when he was seeing the Upside Down and _Him_ in it, except this time he does not know which side is the Upside Down and which side is the real world.

It’s probably unfair to his friends, the way he calls less, how he is drifting away. They all seem the same though, at least the same as they were last summer.

Will realizes with deep set sadness that he is the one who is changing. Later than everyone else, and not in the same way. The Party’s bonds are stronger now, and all he wants when he talks to them is to be with other people. He does not know why.

Mike calls one day. Will is the one who answers, ironically enough. They have not talked in a while, and yes, Will feels guilty, but also detached. He doesn’t know if it’s a bad thing.

It all starts with a usual Saturday morning: his mom and El are out shopping for groceries; he should be with them, but he is feeling a little under the weather, and they all decide it’s better for him to rest. They are also getting medicine for him, and Will is grateful.

He is in his bed, reading a book Theo has given him, a peace offering of some sort, when the phone rings. Will wonders who could be calling, and takes a bit too long, as the ringing stops. Will shrugs, and goes back to his reading, when the ringing resumes, and Will hurries out of bed, feeling already worried.

“Hello?” He says, a little breathless when he picks up the phone. He hopes no one is in trouble.

The person at the other end lets out a shaky breath but says nothing for what seems like a long while.

“Hello?” Will repeats, now very confused.

“Will? Is that you?” The voice is a bit deeper, but Will would recognize Mike’s timbre anywhere, even after months of not talking to him. Had it been months already? Will sighs.

“Yes, it’s me,” he simply answers. “How have you been, Mike?” He tries to keep his voice level, because no matter how much time he had given himself, he still is not over his stupid little crush, and this is disserving everyone.

“Wow, Will, I- your voice has changed so much, I thought it was Jonathan for a second,” Mike’s laughing, but he sounds a bit strained. Will supposes this is his way of saying they haven’t been talking enough. That something is wrong with them. Their friendship.

“Has it? I barely noticed,” it is somewhat a lie, because he knows it had changed, but the change had been gradual, just like how El’s hair has been steadily growing and she refuses to cut it, or how his mom is looking a little bit older but happier every day. How they’re slowly recovering. “Do you want to talk to El?” Will asks, and it breaks the magic of having his best friend just for him, however selfish that thought is. “She’s not here right now, but I’ll tell her to call you back.”

It seems like his sentence freaks Mike out, because he rushes out words immediately: “No! No, no, I wanted to talk to you, Will.”

“Okay,” Will says, waiting.

He hears Mike swallow. “Do you know how long we haven’t actually spoken to each other?” Will knows. It’s been more than a year since they moved out, and he has not seen Mike since that last Thanksgiving, the first away from Hawkins. There have been promises of reuniting the Party for Christmas, but Will isn’t so certain about it happening. He is not sure he wants to come back either. The last time he and Mike have exchanged words that were more than Hello’s and I’ll get El for you’s is months away. “It’s been 183 days, Will.” Six months.

“Oh,” is all he can get out, because he wasn’t counting the days. He had been at first, but ever after learning they wouldn’t come back for Christmas of 1985, Will had forced himself to stop hoping. There was no need.

But Mike had been counting. Will smiles, a small yet sad rise of his lips that his friend can’t hear over the phone. “Will, I… What happened to us?” Will has no answer to that question. Or rather, he has some, but Mike cannot know. “If it’s something I did, then I- I’m sorry.”

It’s weird how miserable Mike sounds, and how detached Will feels. He knows it’s a bad sign, and with the anniversary coming up, everyone has been feeling on edge at home. Will is different. He feels numb and his mind is foggy, different of how he felt when _He_ had him, but also so terrifyingly similar. He feels like someone else is controlling his body, but he knows, deep in his bones, that he’s the only one present.

“Will?” Mike’s voice sounds worried now, and maybe it’s been too long since he’s shown a sign of life.

“Yes Mike. I’m still here,” Will says, and tries to ignore Mike’s small exhale of relief. “You don’t have to feel sorry about anything.” And Will means it. Sure, he had been pissed off at him at one point, what feels like an eternity ago, but he has grown up too. He understands better, and Mike has tried, so many times, to make amends. Life – and Will these days – just doesn’t let him.

“I miss you, Will.” The words are shaky, a bit tight; Will fears Mike is going to cry. “I miss you so much.” He sniffs. Will stands in the hallway, his hands gripping the phone. His eyes are too dry. “I miss us, you know? I miss how we used to be… Nothing is the same without you.”

“Mike,” Will starts. He does not know where to go. It’s awful, because he truly wants to care, but he just cannot. Not fully, at least. His thoughts are jumbled up, he tries to remember a time when he was not like that and fails to recall. “I miss you too,” he says, and it’s hollow. “I miss the Party.” And there is truth to that.

“Are you- are you doing okay, far from us?” Mike tries, hard, to put a smile in his words, but Will hears the tears falling from his eyes. He sees them, and he resents Mike for making him see. He resents himself for being able to.

“It’s fine. I have El. She’s a great sister.” If his voice comes out a little sharper, his friend does not comment on it.

“I’m glad you guys are getting along.” It’s old news, but if Mike needs to attach himself to something familiar, Will is gladly going to let him.

“Yeah,” Will looks at the time. His mom and El won’t be back for a while, and he wants the conversation, however short, to be over already.

“I was thinking,” Mike trails off, waiting for a comment from Will, most likely. But Will is tired, and Mike goes on. “I really want to see you guys.” Will feels dread pool in his stomach. Mike is playing with the phone cord, unable to stay still, bouncing up and down on his feet. Will closes his eyes. “You, and El. Your mom. Jonathan, depending on when I’m coming.” Will still sees him.

“You want to visit?” He sounds a bit incredulous, and maybe he is, and maybe he does not want Mike to come here again, to sleep in his room, to touch him and remind him just how disgusting he is. How gross Will can be.

“Yes!” Mike says, his excitement carrying over without Will having to reach out for him. “Just imagine! I don’t know whether you’re really coming for Christmas and honestly? I’m still going even if I see you in December. I just cannot wait any longer, I have so many things to tell you, and-”

Will cuts him short. “Do your parents know? Are you going to drive there?” He knows he sounds overly distant now.

“Um, not yet, but I will discuss it with them. I’m learning how to drive with Steve, as soon as I get my license, I’m going to see you.” And that’s awful.

“No,” Will says, softly but cold. He is being selfish, he knows, but it has to get out somehow.

“No what, Will?” Mike still sounds excited, but he’s starting to deflate a little.

“I don’t want you to come.” And that’s it. That’s the worst Will could have said or done. He can make out the hurt on Mike’s face, hear it in the sharp gasp he draws. But Will just cannot deal with him much longer.

“Will, you don’t mean that,” Mike says, and he is right, but he sounds like he’s trying to convince himself, like the Will he’s talking to has changed so much that he couldn’t even begin to understand him.

“Maybe I don’t, Mike. I just- I can’t… not yet,” his voice breaks a little, and now he’s the one crying, wet tracks running down his cheeks.

“Shit Will, are you okay?” Will laughs bitterly, Mike is always too caring, even now when he does not deserve it. He pushes his forehead against the wall and sobs. He knows he’s too loud, Mike is talking to him in hushed, reassuring tones, but he can’t hear him. This is all pent-up feelings, things he shouldn’t have ignored.

He hits his head once, twice, the wallpaper cold against his skin. It should make him recoil, but he feels too hot and he’s _sick_ , and he should have known better and hung up the phone before.

“Will, can you hear me? You’re okay. You did nothing wrong.” Mike is still talking. “Shit, I wish I could-” Mike takes in a shuddering breath. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought this up so suddenly. I know how you feel about… habits, and I should have been less forceful.”

Trust Mike to understand so much and know so little at the same time. “I need time.”

“Okay.” Mike’s breathing is a small comfort in the ocean of distress Will’s drowning in. “Are you alone right now?”

“Yes.”

“When are they coming back?” He hates that Mike cares so much.

“Soon enough.”

“What does that mean? When are they coming back?” Mike asks, more urgently. He stops, trying to get his breathing even, and when he speaks again, his voice is calmer, grounded. “I can’t leave you alone, Will.”

“Please Mike,” Will says, because Mike is making him feel too much, and it’s dangerous. “Hang up the phone.”

“What? No!” Mike sounds horrified. “I’m staying with you until your mom comes home. Will, you have no idea how much you’re scaring me right now.”

Will has actually some idea. Mike is pale, eyebrows drawn up in worry and his mother, Mrs Wheeler, is quietly watching him from the stairs. She’s trying not to disrupt him, but she’s worried, both for her son and for Will. It’s too much. Will does not want to know. He needs to sever the connection, whatever it takes. “Mike, you have to let go.”

“Let go?” Mike’s tone is almost offended. “Let go of what? You? There’s no way, Will. I’m staying right there and making sure you’re okay.”

“No! You need to leave Mike.” Will knows he’s not making a lot of sense, but his head hurts – from the fever – and Mike is not helping.

“What is going on, Will?” Mike looks like he is ready to jump into action, even with the distance separating them. Will shakes his head.

“Leave me alone,” Will says, his voice tired.

“No, I can’t! You can’t ask that, no matter how mad you are at me!”

“Leave me alone!” Will shouts now, and the line goes dead.

The line goes literally dead, as there is no sound anymore, and Will notices how quiet everything is in the house suddenly, save for his heavy breathing.

He pads to the kitchen, checks the fridge, and sure enough, the light is off, it’s not running anymore.

A power outage.

Will grabs a blanket from the couch and lies down in the living room, waiting for his mom and El to come back.

When they do, they find him fast asleep.

“Will,” his mother says softly. “What are you doing out of bed? Your fever seems to have worsened,” she takes out a tissue and wipes his upper lip. “Your nose has been bleeding again.” There is an unspoken question in her eyes. Will doesn’t want to answer it.

“The electricity is down,” he just says, and it serves as both an explanation and an apology. El is staring at him, looking worried. She sits down next to him and takes his hand into hers. She does not let go until lunch is ready.

He doesn’t tell them Mike has called.

When the electricity is back, and Mike calls again, he doesn’t ask for him anymore. Will pretends the hollow feeling in his chest is nothing.

They end up going back to Hawkins for Christmas. Will does not protest; El is elated, his mom, worried, and Jonathan has come back from university to see them and Nancy. It’s not just about him.

So, he bears with it. He feels better, really. The episode from last November is forgotten – not truly, he sees it when his mom’s eyes linger on him a bit too long, worry etched on her face, or when El’s fingers brush under his nose, a phantom gesture she was too used to make.

El’s powers aren’t back yet, and Will feels like he’s stealing something from her.

They are supposed to stay at a motel for the time being, but Mrs. Wheeler is having none of it. They have one guest room, and a huge basement. It’s not like Will cannot stay with Mike and El with Nancy. They can figure it out.

Driving to Hawkins feels a bit like a dream. He has gotten used to missing his hometown, but now that he is there, he feels like a stranger. Jonathan and his mother are talking in the car, catching up. El is holding his hand, fingers interlaced, and he feels a bit more present.

He is trying, he hopes he’s getting better.

When they arrive at the Wheelers’ house, Will’s stomach is an endless pit. He has to go to the restroom, but he stays a few steps away from his family, watching them as they ring the door.

Mrs. Wheeler opens. “Hello!” She greets them. “How have you been, Joyce?” She asks, hugging them once at a time. She comments on Jonathan’s mature looks, on El’s beautiful hair and outfit. Her eyes stop on Will, who is slowly coming closer, smiling sheepishly. He knows she was there during the incident. “Oh my, is that Will?” It’s a rhetorical question, because who else would he be, but he flushes under the attention and nods. “You’ve grown up so much! I’m sure the others are going to be so surprised when they see you!” She hugs him too once he’s on the porch. He’s glad she’s not fully aware of what had transpired between him and her son. “Mike? Nancy? The Byers are here!”

Will smiles a bit wider; he had missed the way things were at his best friend’s house. “Coming!” Mike’s voice says. Will decides to step back, behind Jonathan, who is looking at him weirdly.

“Are you okay, Will?” Jonathan asks, his hand on Will’s arm. It’s scaring him that now Jonathan has to look up to meet his eyes.

“Yes, feeling a bit dizzy, it’s gonna pass,” Will assures.

“You know you can tell me if something’s wrong,” Jonathan says, voice a bit quieter, as if he wanted Will to know that he could trust him. Will trusts Jonathan. He doesn’t trust himself.

“I know,” he answers. Jonathan pats him on the shoulder, then turns back to the door. Joyce has already gone inside with some of their stuff, along with Karen. Nancy appears before Mike, smiling at them. Her smile falters a bit when she sees Will, and he wonders if he looks like a monster. His clothes are normal enough for winter, and yes, he had cut his hair months back but that did not warrant such strong reactions from the others. Did it?

Nancy hugs them all, really tight. Will knows she has missed them. She kisses his brother softly, and Will tries to see past the initial _gross_ reaction. They are in love after all. El is looking at him with a fond smile. He smiles back.

That’s when Mike chooses to arrive.

Will’s breath gets caught. Mike is so beautiful it hurts. But it’s a faraway pain, and Will wants to be over him. He needs to be. His hair is messier than he remembers. Mike sees El first and takes her into his arms. “I missed you,” he tells her, and El answers with a soft, but heartfelt, “I missed you too.” Will smiles at that, happy to see people he loves so much finding each other again.

Mike lets go of El, his eyes now on Jonathan. He hugs him all the same. “You’re too tall,” Jonathan says, a laugh bubbling up his throat. Mike laughs too. Will is still watching from the sidelines, and when Mike’s eyes open and settle on him, he expects him to glare. Not to tear up, or to mouth his name like it’s the most precious thing in the world.

“Will,” he says, letting go of Jonathan. “Can I- can I hug you?” It surprises Will at first, then he remembers what his last words to Mike were, and he nods quickly. Mike seems relieved and suddenly Will is surrounded by heat. Mike is tall, but Will has gotten taller and he rests his head on Mike’s shoulder, close to his neck, quite easily. They’re almost the same height now, and it’s… strange. “I’ve missed you so much,” Mike says, the same thing he told him the last time they spoke. Will thinks he’s crying. He doesn’t trust himself right now.

“I’ve missed you too.” This time it’s full, of regrets, of love, of everything Will wishes he still had. Mike hugs him tighter.

“Do you guys have electricity problems?” Jonathan voice snaps Will from wherever he was. He pushes Mike away, not too harshly, but enough to put some distance between them and to see the lights on the porch – and inside the house – flicker. His insides run cold, and El is right by his side in an instant, a white tissue in her hand.

“Here,” she says. Will takes it, wipes what he knows is blood under his nose.

Mike looks at him, at El, at the lights and tries to answer as Nancy does. “No, I don’t think so-” She starts, frowning.

“The lightbulbs are pretty old, yeah.” Right as Mike says that, the flickering stops.

Karen comes down the hallway, ushering them inside. Joyce is looking at Will, lips pinched. She obviously wants to talk, and Will follows her in the guest room she is going to stay in. Jonathan and Nancy stay outside, catching up, most likely. El and Mike run to his room, holding hands and looking at each other with eyes full of affection. Will closes the door and hopes he won’t see any more of it.

“Will,” his mom starts. She’s sitting on the bed and she looks tired, and Will knows this has been eating at her for a while. Her eyes glance at the white tissue, stained with red, in his hand. “Is there… Is there something that you’re not telling me? I feel like I’m going crazy, but it’s the sole explanation, there have been weird things happening in our house, now here, and all centered around you. Is it-” She stops herself, looking like she cannot even believe what has come out of her mouth.

“Mom,” Will simply says, crossing the few steps between them and joining her. He holds her hand, takes a deep breath. “El and I think… I mean, she knows there is something happening to me, I’m a bit less sure.”

“But you’ve seen it happen! And Will, even before, in the Upside Down, when you were…”

“It’s happened before, yes.”

“You know that’s how you communicated with me, using lights.” His mom sounds so convinced now. “You have powers.”

Will winces slightly, mostly because he does not want to acknowledge this at all. He had hoped for some tranquility after all of this, but him being special in that way just sucked. “I guess so,” he lets out. It doesn’t make him feel good, having that fact out in the open.

“Do you- do you know how to control them?” His mom pushes. She’s squeezing his hands softly, her eyes searching his face.

“No, I don’t,” Will exhales shakily. “I feel bad enough for having them, why would I try to-”

“Why would you feel bad about that?”

“It’s just another thing that makes me a freak, mom!” Will notices he has raised his voice, and his next words are considerably more hushed. “And El, she still hasn’t got her powers back. But I’m…”

“Will, no! You’re not- Don’t say things like that about yourself.” His mom hugs him. She’s warm, she smells like home; Will relaxes into her. His cheeks are still wet from the tears he has shed with Mike, but he cries all the same. “Will, baby, you know I love you. El loves you too. Jonathan loves you.”

Will nods miserably. His mom repeats that she loves him, fiercely, and he believes her. He isn’t sure he has any other option. But he thinks about Theo, and how he had broken his heart by not being over Mike Wheeler. How he had led him on. How he felt utterly alone in his group of friends, and how he would feel alone in the Party as well because he had been drifting away.

His mom lets go of him. “Look at me,” she says, her hands cupping his face. “You are so, so brave, and full of love and kindness despite what you might think of yourself.”

“Okay,” Will says.

“I will tell you that every day if needed, until you believe it yourself,” his mom adds.

Will chuckles wetly. “Okay,” he repeats. “Thank you.” He means it, and he wants to get better. He knows that.

His mom laughs with him, a sound full of repressed sadness. “Now, controlling those powers? It might be a good idea. I don’t want to sound like a boring adult, but you know, it gets difficult with time.”

“What does?”

“The power outages? The electrical appliances that go awry whenever you feel something strongly?” He flinches, shame rising up his throat. “I am not blaming you for anything, Will. But-”

“With great powers come great responsibility,” Will finishes.

“I- yes, actually. Where did you hear that?”

“It’s from The Amazing Spiderman. You know? The comics about the high schooler who gets bit by a radioactive spider?”

His mom nods; Will knows they have talked about this particular character before, when his mom would read his favorite comics with him.

“Well it’s a right saying, and you should try to control your powers,” his mom says. “I know you don’t… want them,” she’s looking at him, her eyes kind, “but you have them. We have to deal with them now too. And,” she hurries out before Will can say something, “it’s not a bad thing. I don’t want you to think that way, but I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone in this.”

“Okay,” Will says quietly. He knows it has been hard for his mom, and he has only added to the pile. He doesn’t voice that out, because he knows his mom is going to flip if he shows just how much he hates himself for doing that to her. So, he bears with it, smiles, and promises he will work that out. He knows El will help, knows Jonathan will support him, knows his mom will protect him. He allows himself to feel that, letting the soothing sensation wash over him.

After the talk with his mom, Will leaves the room, lighter than before. Someone other than El – and Theo to a point – knows his secret. Soon, he’ll have to share it with Jonathan as well. This scares him, but Jonathan will understand.

Will walks down the stairs, getting ready to take his stuff out of the car – one good thing done – when he spots Mike, in front of the entrance to the basement. His friend looks nervous, and Will is reminded of how he’s been with him lately. Which was not a lot, considering the extent of their friendship before. Mike’s head rises, and their eyes meet. It shouldn’t make Will’s heart beat that fast, but it does, and Will smiles shyly at Mike, who smiles back.

“Can I talk to you?” Mike says, going straight to the point.

Dread pools in Will’s stomach, but he nods, and when Mike goes down into the basement, he follows. Mike sits on the couch, motioning for Will to do the same. The basement is lightly decorated for Christmas, but there is mostly a mess of unplugged lights around them.

“I kind of wanted to decorate for you and El, but I got sidetracked,” Mike admits sheepishly, following Will’s gaze. “I’ll get that when we go to sleep.”

Will nods again, not trusting his voice. Mike seems to notice that he’s not going to talk unless prompted, because his face falls for a second. He puts a smile back on his face before Will can register how sad he had looked.

“El and I broke up,” Mike blurts out, surprising Will. He hadn’t expected that at all. “And not just… today, but a while back.” Mike looks down, his face flushing. “In August actually.”

It’s been four months. Will can’t really be mad at Mike for not telling him because well, he had been avoiding talking to him for even longer, but he’s a bit miffed that El hasn’t told him. Then it dawns on him. “You broke up with her _over the phone_?”

Mike grimaces. “I know, it’s bad. But I… I realized I wasn’t in love with her.”

“Anymore?” Will adds, because really, this is too much.

“The anymore is pending, I don’t… I don’t actually know if… if I’ve ever. Ugh.” Mike groans, looking desperate. “I’m a piece of shit.”

“No, Mike,” Will immediately says, because it pains him to hear the boy he loves saying things like that about himself.

“You’re not mad at me?” Mike asks, looking hopeful.

“El’s not mad at you. And uh, I think I don’t really have the right to be mad at you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I dated someone last year and… it was shorter than with El and you, but I wasn’t in love with them and I knew it. I’m a bigger piece of shit,” Will laughs. He and Theo are on good terms; they’re back to being good friends now. But it took some time to do that – almost all of the summer.

“You dated someone?” Mike repeats, his voice small. When Will looks closer at him, he seems somber, sad even.

“Yeah, I mean… That happens.” Will shrugs. “Not my proudest moment, but I dated…” Will gulps, “a friend from my school, Theodore. He’s a sweet guy.”

“Oh,” Mike says. He doesn’t say anything for a while, and Will’s uneasiness is growing.

“Do you have a problem with me being gay?” Will asks because Mike is his best friend – if he’s still allowed to think of him that way – and his opinion, no matter how unfair this might seem, is important to Will.

Mike shakes his head. “No, absolutely not! I didn’t know,” and that should be a lie, because why else would he have said _it’s not my fault you don’t like girls_? How can he _not_ know? “I- I like boys too,” Mike says. “I don’t know if I’m bisexual or gay but I do know I like boys,” he adds, blushing.

Will cannot believe what he’s hearing. He thinks it through, quickly. “Alright. When… When did you realize you liked boys?”

“When did you?” Mike rebounds with a somewhat more relaxed tone.

“Uh… Before high school, I think,” Will replies. It’s likely that he had noticed it before, but this is all that comes to his mind. The summer before he and El left, when Mike was barely present, and Will’s heart was aching.

Mike nods knowingly. “I think I suspected, before. But I really realized it last summer, actually.”

So, Will missed Mike’s great revelation then. Did Mike want to tell him, all those times he asked for him on the phone? Or when he called him in early November? Will is probably never going to know. He still wants to. “Were you going to tell me?” He asks, and it sounds too reproachful. But before he can correct himself, Mike answers.

“Yeah, of course. I wanted to. I couldn’t get a hold of you, which I can understand-”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Mike,” Will assures. “I broke up with Theo in April.”

“April- Oh.” Mike’s mouth twists, but he understands. “Alright… I get it. I was kind of upset when El and I broke up. I get that you wanted… time to deal with it-”

“That’s not it, Mike,” Will says. “Not just time. I… The reason why we broke up was because I… I was in love with someone else.”

Mike frowns. “Uh, someone from your school?”

Will is scared. Mike doesn’t seem to even consider himself a possibility. But he goes on. There is no need to live with regrets, is it? “From Hawkins. From right here.”

“Right here?” Mike repeats dumbly. His eyes widen. “Me?” He asks, the hints of a disbelieving smile appearing on his face.

“Yes,” Will says, his eyes finding the floor suddenly too interesting.

“Will,” Mike says excitedly. “Will,” he repeats, forcing him to look up, “you’re the reason why I know I like boys. I like you.”

Warmth explodes in Will’s chest, love filling him. “No way,” he says, unable to keep himself from grinning. This is just too good to be true.

But the too good lasts, and Mike brings Will close to his chest in a bone-crushing hug. It’s so different from the hug they had outside. Then, it was like Mike was mindful of Will, of how quickly he could run away if he was spooked, like a wild animal. Now, Mike is holding onto him so tight it almost hurts, but it feels good. Will is hugging him back just as desperately, his eyes stinging.

Mike chuckles, his breath tickling Will’s neck. “I said, I like you, but… this is so much more than just like. I love you, Will. I have for a while. For what it feels like is my whole life.”

Will’s chest swells with affection, and he buries his heated cheeks against Mike’s hair. “I love you too.”

“I know,” Mike ends up saying, his voice suddenly very mischievous. He lets go of Will. His eyes are shining, maybe with tears, maybe with something else. Will cannot see very well. “Can I kiss you?”

A bold move, Will thinks. He only nods, eager to feel Mike’s lips against his own. Mike waits a little, and, impatience bursting through his mind, Will closes the gap between them before Mike can even move. He lets out a small yelp in surprise, but Will presses his lips against Mike’s own, soft and warm.

They push, come incredibly closer, as Will’s hand finds Mike’s face and Mike’s rests on his shoulder, as if too scared to break an invisible barrier. Mike tastes sweet, like home, but also so new, so strong, Will knows he won’t come back from it. He kisses him deeper, his tongue running on Mike’s lips, his other hand finding its way on his waist. Mike whines, wriggling in Will’s touch.

“Wait, Will,” he says after getting his face away, breathlessly.

His tone is light, and Will claims his lips once again.

Mike laughs against him. “Just, wait a second.” He pushes him away, earning a deep groan from Will. “Okay, okay, wow, eager kisser much?”

“I’ve been waiting for a long time for that,” Will admits.

“Yeah, me too,” Mike says. And he’s not lying; his cheeks a flushed a pretty pink, his lips red from all the kissing, and his eyes are impossibly dark. “But… look around for a minute.”

Will does, and his eyes widen. All around them, the Christmas lights are twinkling in a steady pulse. “Oh,” Will says, his voice awed.

“Yeah. You’re the one doing it, right?” Mike asks. His hand holds Will’s in a firm grasp, and Will nods.

“I wasn’t aware it could be that pretty. Usually it always happens when I’m upset.”

“It really is pretty. So, Will Byers, you can add has powers on the list of things that make you cool.”

“Yeah, and you can add is Will Byers’ boyfriend on your list.” Instead of retaliating, Mike blushes even more, looking pleased.

“I sure will.”

**Author's Note:**

> Dare I say I started this back in July and it has been completed a while ago but... here it is! I hope you enjoyed it!  
> And it is supposed to have 3 other fics in it, with Mike's, El's and Max's point of view actually.


End file.
